Your Fate…

You will find yourself infatuated with a professional mountaineer with hairy legs and a missing finger.  In an attempt to win affection, you will begin a strict regimen of weight lifting, aerobic exercises and rock climbing.  You become fit beyond your wildest imagination.

The mountaineer will invite you to climb the north face of El Chipoope, a formidable mountain in the farthest reaches of Patagonia.  You and the mountaineer will reach the summit, but you will suffer a tragic fall on the descent. You will be hanging from a rope as your partner desperately tries to maintain a grip to the mountainside. The mountaineer will be forced to choose between saving himself by cutting the rope or having you both plunge into the abyss. 

Three days later the Mountaineer will order a venti from Starbucks.