Your Fate…..

You will attend a professional baseball game and drink an enormous warm lager.  It will go down easy, and you will have a second.  You will feel the need to attend a public restroom, and when you enter you will be overwhelmed by the smell of urine and hot, buttered popcorn.  While relieving yourself, you will receive a call from an unidentified number, and fumbling with your phone and zipper simultaneously, you will drop your phone into the toilet.