Your Fate…..

You will remember this …  You are six years old.  You have only two toys – a sock doll named “Mr. Pickles,” and a teddy bear with a missing eye and a rip that belches dirty-yellow stuffing. 

Your father is of the dreamer/wanderer variety.  Every few years, he crams the family’s worldly possessions into a dilapidated, “wood”-paneled station wagon, and he drags his exhausted progeny toward the next lunatic scheme.  On one such departure day, your father will lead you to your room, and say, “You can only take one toy.  Which will it be?” 

Thirty-two years later, you will stand at the counter in a Burger King.  It’s been a long day, and the tribulations of your own children weigh heavy upon you.  A surly teen will mumble, “You want pickles on that?”  You will jump the counter, smack the paper hat off that kid, kick him in the gut, and scream, “You’re fucking right I want Pickles!” 

You have four Anger Management classes left to complete your sentence.